So, I’m 45 and what do I know? I have just been reading a blog post from my 40th birthday and I still agree with what I wrote at the time but here is more of what I have learned.
Love and Relationships are Everything
Life is about relationships, they matter. Not just about our romantic relationships but about how we interact with our friends and community. It is vitally important to spend your life building a strong community of “real” people with integrity who know you and love and accept you for who you are. Life is short, don’t waste your time with fake people. When you love and give to friends and community, you get that love and support back in different and surprising ways throughout your life.
Recently I saw a brilliant TED Talk : What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness by Robert Waldinger. He explains that the clearest message from this study was that good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Social connections are really good for us, and loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they’re physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected.
Gratitude is Vital
I have learned that it is important to remain in a place of gratitude. To really understand all that you have been blessed with. This is particularly important during tough times in life when you think there is little to be grateful for. Gratitude allows you to stay grounded and helps keep you stay open, where you are able to see and receive the help and gifts that may come to you. I believe you need to be in a space of gratitude to attract and recognise these gifts and opportunities.
Life is about Daring Greatly!
Something else I have learned is that you need to take part in life, not stand on the sidelines. Life is way to short to worry about what the people on the sidelines think about you! I am a big fan of Brené Brown and I have written about her work here, her work introduced me to this brilliant quote by Theodore Roosevelt:
“It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is not effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while DARING GREATLY…….”
Basically the only ones who matter are the people having a go, the idiots on the sidelines (armchair experts) are irrelevant and are simply too scared to have a go themselves!
Relationships, gratitude and daring greatly are all as important for health as good nutrition and movement! I believe in doing everything that I can do to stay vital and healthy for as long as I live. I want to not only survive, but thrive for the rest of my life (as a good and wise friend Vicki Cook from Inspired Change recently said to me)!
Fiona Kane, Nutritionist, Holistic Counsellor and Transformational Life Coach