A few weeks ago, I a shared a picture on Facebook that said “parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry” Alvin Price. We now know that the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. We know that what we say to our kids is extremely powerful but what about what we do in front of our children?

It is not unusual for parents to tell their children that they are beautiful in one moment and then stand in front of the mirror examining themselves, pointing out their own flaws, wrinkles, spots, big bottom, big tummy, thunder thighs…… right in front of their kids. Others cross examine their day, looking at all of their so called “failures”, planning for the day that they will be happy. “When I get the pay rise, I will be enough therefore I will be happy” or “when I lose 5kg, I will be happy” or “when we get a new car, we will be happy”.

What you do it equally as powerful, if not more powerful than what you say. If you encourage your kids to love and believe in themselves but you don’t love and believe in yourselves or each other, what message are you sending them?

I was chatting to a young dad with an infant son recently and explained to him that one of the best gifts he can give his son as a parent is to know that he is enough, to know that he is a good parent, a good human being. Parents must fill their own buckets too! I can’t tell you how many young mothers I see in my clinic who are completely exhausted, completely spent and have nothing left to give, they put absolutely everyone in front of themselves.

Women in particularly often feel guilty if they do anything for themselves at all! What does that teach your children? It teaches your sons that women have no needs and your daughters that women are not allowed to have needs. Is that really the message you want your kids to learn?

If you nourish yourselves as a couple and as individuals, this will nourish your whole family. That is what will set the example to your children, it is wonderful to fill your children’s buckets but even better if they learn how to fill their own (as you won’t always be there to refill it for them).

If you are not sure where to start to fill your own bucket, read this previous post.



Brene Brown

For more information or personalised advice on a healthy diet contact us on (02) 47 222 111 at the Informed Health Nutritional Wellbeing Centre or www.informedhealth.com.au

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